Mario Kart is for chumps, Bowser Kart isn't
by isso8
Summary: Big news in the Mushroom Kingdom! A race is being held at Reswob's castle! But who excactly IS Reswob? And what about his assistant Apook Dik? Will anyone be able to survive the dangerous race? Click here to find out!
1. Chapter 1

Hey, folks! This is my first fic on this website, so don't be too harsh on the reviews, OK?

Well, here it goes...

One day at the Mushroom Kingdom kingdom, Toad was walking his normal walk through Toadstool park. "Lalala," Toad sang in a not-so-sweet voice. "I just love walking through the park." as Toad was walking, he noticed a sign taped to a lampost. "Hmmm," Toad mused. "I wonder what this is." The sign read,

FELLOW CITIZENS, COME AND COMPETE IN THE FIRST EVER "MARIO KART" RACE! WINNER WILL RECIEVE FIVE THOUSAND GOLD COINS. THIS IS ENOUGH TO BUY THIRTY-FIVE POUNDS OF CANDY! THE CANDY SHOULD LAST ABOUT TWO DAYS! RACE WILL BE HELD AT MY CASTLE ON SUNDAY, MARCH TWENTY-SECOND, AT THREE-THIRTY PM. PLEASE COME WITH YOUR OWN GO-KART.

SIGNED,

RESWOB.

(Hmmm, did you notice "Reswob" is Bowser's name spelled backwards?)

"Awesome!" Toad exclaimed. "I've always wanted to compete in a go-kart race! I wonder who "Reswob" is. Never heard of him. Must be from out of town. Oh, well. I've got to tell Peach about this!" So Toad skipped merrily off to Peach's castle.

Meanwhile...

Mario was walking home, when he saw another one of the signs taped to another lamp post. He read the note, and decided to enter the race. When he got home he watched the daily Toadsworth News Report (TNR), and saw that everyone in the entire kingdom was entering the race. Little did he know, Sunday would be the most horror-filled day in the history of the Mushroom Kingdom kingdom.

Meanwhile... (again)

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Bowser exclaimed. "My evil plan is working perfectly!" Bowser turned around to face his apprentice, Koopa Kid. "You! Koopa Kid!" Koopa Kid fearfully faced his master. "Yes, master?" "I want you to make sure everyone finds their way to my castle, you understand?" "Yes, master" "Now beat it!" "Yes, master" Koopa Kid walked out of the room and downstairs into his dirty lil' study. He opened a drawer, and took out a folder. It read, "Koopa Kid's top-secret plan #345/7b: Getting people to Bowser's castle." Koopa Kid opened the folder and looked at the blueprints that were inside. After awhile, he closed the folder and set to work.

PEACH'S CASTLE, 7PM SATURDAY NIGHT.

"Well, that's it!" Said Toad. "Everyone in the kingdom has their kart ready for the race." "Great!" Luigi replied. "Now we can just wait until tommorrow, when we get killed!" "Oh, come on Luigi!" Mario cut in. "Do you always have to look on the bad side of things? I mean, what could happen?" "Yeah, Luigi!" Peach piped up. "Don't be such a baby!" "Alright! Alright!" Luigi gave up. "You win! I'll compete in the race, but I know something fishy is going on here!" "Did you say fish?" Mario asked. "That reminds me, I forgot to take the Cheep-Cheep out of the oven!" Mario ran out of the room, but instead of fish, there was a map. "Hmmm," Mario said to himself. "What the mushroom is this?" The map seemed to lead right to Bowser's castle. Only the picture was of a crazy race track, located right in front of a small castle with the words, "Reswob's castle race course!" written in small red font.

Here is a look at the race course:

888888888888888888888888888 8 8 8 8 888888888888888888888 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 888888888888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888

It might not look like much, but the course was full of traps and lava pits and stuff like that. And you had to complete 100 laps to win. (Did I mention it even looks a lil' bit like Bowser's head?

THE NEXT DAY...

"Did you leave a map to my castle, you lousy good-for-nothin' snob"  
Bowser asked the lowly Koopa Kid. "Yes, Master," Koopa Kid growled back. "They're already on their way here." "Nice, work KK," Bowser replied. "Maybe you ain't as stupid as you look!" Bowser hit a switch, and suddenly his whole castle turned into something similar ta' Peach's castle. "From now on you'll adress me as Reswob. Got that?" Bowser asked his apprentice. "Yes, Reswob." KK answered. "Well, GREAT! Now go and welcome our guests, and announce yourself as Apook Dik, K?" "Once again, Yes Master." KK replied. So KK went down to the race course to welcome everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom.

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Well, how was that? Rate it on a scale of 0 to 10 like this:

My fic: Rating 5

Please rate it truthfully, K? (Decimals like 5.5 or 3.3 are allowed, But please, Don't make it look like 4.43432427, OK?)

Well that is all I have to say!

See ya' lata'

isso8. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, folks! It's me again! Next chapter is ready for you! Enjoy!

"Attention, everyone!" KK growled at the Mushroom Kingdom citizens. "Welcome to the first ever "Mario Kart" race! Why do we call it "Mario Kart?" I have NO IDEA at all. I'm just the person who greets you." A few whispers spread through the crowd. "Now," KK continued. "let me introduce you to the person who will be running this race! Give it up for...Reswob!" KK turned, expecting to see Bowser come outside, but he was already standing there, with a costume on that made him look like a fat shy guy. "Alright everyone," Bowser growled in greeting. "let us get on with the race!" Everyone cheered, not knowing the danger ahead. Bowser pulled out a remote controll, and pushed a button. Instantly, a large hole began to open up on the ground, off to the left of the castle. Out of the hole, a massive race course appeared. The course was about 5 miles long, and was constructed of wood and rock. It had 5 turns, each banked at about a 10 degree angle. There was a lava pit located just before turn 2, and another one at turn 3. Overall, there were 8 places to get items. Everyone was anticipating the race. Well, except one person. "Hey, Resowb guy!" Luigi shouted. Bowser looked right at him. "What happens if we fall in a lava pit?" The king of the koopas had been waiting for this question. "The lava pits are just holigraphic images." He answered. "If you fall into one, you won't die, you'll just be trapped in my dirty ol' dunegeon." "Oh, thats much better." Luigi answered. "Wait, d-did you say d-dunegeon?" Bowser growled back, "Of course you wimphead! Everyone must compete, but not everyone must escape." Bowser pushed another button on the remote, and suddenly a HUGE cage fell out of nowhere and trapped all the Mushroom Kingdom residents with the race course. Instantly, everyone burst into panic running around in cirlcles screaming like little babies, while Peach tried to get everything back in order. Bowser ripped off his costume, and threw it into KK's hands. "Now," he growled fircely. "On with the first "Mario Kart" race! It may be the first race you've ever competed in, but it will also be your LAST. BWAHAHAHA!"

To be continued...

Yeah, I know it was really short, but I wanted to leave a lil' bit of a cliff-hanger behind. Heh-heh. You'll have to wait a couple of days until you see what happens next!

isso8 


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